Evaluation: 3 weeks in Sweden so far.

My first observation is that I thought I would have a much harder time switching from English to Swedish when talking to people. This has turned out to not be an issue, except for the very first week, when I sounded like a total moron. It could be that I have talked to a lot of people, and gotten all those early mistakes out of my system. My thinking is still very mixed, as my thoughts and self-talking go on in both English and Swedish (some times at the same time).

The 'System'
I didn't think it'd be easy to get back in the system, with address change, attempts to get unemployment, and attempts to find health care - and it wasn't. I have to say this didn't surprise me.

The Swedes
The Swedes as a people feel different. The overall 'Swedish' culture has changed in some direction that I don't know where it's going. Could be the economical situation that has brought the pessimistic outlook, but it feels deeper than that. It's hard to describe - perhaps I will be able to tell more once I understand it better (if I ever do). People don't seem to care much anymore. From what I hear and have seen so far, people in the work force just barely do what is expected out of them - particularly the younger groups. If this is a sign of laziness, a lack of belief in everybody doing their share (so why should they?), or a lack of faith in the future - I don't know. I just know that this is not the same attitude towards work ethics that I knew when I moved to Canada. Is society about to crash? What is this? I just don't know.

Family
I haven't met everyone here in town yet, but I have a bunch. My back has limited me from seeing more than I could have, and I see no rush in meeting them all as soon as possible. They're around. So far, I've met my mom, grandma, 2 aunts, 4 cousins, 5 children of cousins', and 1 child of the children of my cousins'. and that's without even leaving this town! I should meet another 4 cousins within the next month, and a bunch of their children. It's been good.

The town of Sala
I expected this small town to have grown. That appears not to be the case. Not much construction in 10 years, and the town is definitely not spreading out.
Crime has definitely gone up. I've been warned to keep out of certain areas of town after dark, and that's new to this place since I lived here.
The demographics have changed a lot. When I left, the caucasian percentage of people living here was about 99.98%. Now, it is with a rough estimate maybe 85-90%. That's a lot of change in such a short time, and even though I haven't heard of any particularly racist environment, this could throw off the balance of a small town. People who have lived here all their lives get strange notions about the new people moving in, especially if they bring with them a new culture. Change can be hard if there has been very little of it in a long time.

Conclusion
I don't like what this has become. There is no 'drive' forward in the people, and I feel more like a misfit than I thought I would. I had expected to be a misfit until I got the hang of the language again, but that part turned out to be irrelevant to my level of not fitting in. I don't want to settle for this. If this continues as it has started, I will focus my energy even more on one day getting back to the culture I have come to love, even though I can't say exactly what it is in Canada that I like and now miss so much. Naturally, a big part of it is missing my friends, but it's more than that. Much more. It's not the normal 'the grass is greener over there', because I can compare the two and see many differences.
Maybe my 600km (one-way) trip to visit my cousin in the north of Sweden will change my opinion of what Sweden has become, but I doubt it. That doesn't get me down too much, but rather stimulate my focus on making it back to Canada. I'm patient. I don't mind cocooning for a while, and pretend to be part of whatever this is here.

Thank heavens...

...for relatives who work in health care and others who have plenty of prescription drugs that they don't need!!!! These have turned out to be very helpful until I can actually get a doctor's appointment.

I have done laundry today, and the first load is hanging outside, drying as we speak. The second is still in the washer. I'll hang that in the morning. :)

I'm getting worried.

Little to no progress here: No job or interviews yet. No unemployment funds received. No doctor's appointment yet.

The last one is becoming more and more vital to my health. I am seriously beginning to think that the disk between my L4 and L5 (where I had my hernia 4-5 years back) lumbar vertebrae has become so compacted lately that my vertebrae are touching. This would explain why I can barely rotate my torso without having excruciating pains, and why walking is becoming painful (it didn't used to be) from time to time.

I know that surgery could be in my near future if my fears are real, and this adds to my worries. I don't mind going under the knife per se, but an aunt had disk hernia surgery a couple of decades back, and she had serious problems afterwards (she couldn't even sit for YEARS). I'm usually not a worrier, but it's come to the point where I'm losing sleep over this. Until now, the pain has been acceptable. This sounds stupid, but if you know me, it should makes sense to you. I have a tendency to dismiss things as less serious than they really are, if I think it won't affect me negatively in the long run. Add to that that I hope for the best, and that I think I'm right - and the result could be bad.

I REALLY hope that I can get an appointment at the doctor's office real soon, to FINALLY figure out what is really wrong, and what can be done. It's time to drop the act that I can live with this, and to take care of things.

The health care system. And a squirrel.

Today, I called the health care office, and was greeted by a menu system, letting me decide when they would call me back to set up an appointment. I chose as soon as possible, which was 11am (I made the call around 10am). Around 12:15pm, they called me back. They started taking my information, and once the nurse (I assume) had all my info in the system, she was just about to ask when I wanted to come in. That's when she realized I had to fill out some form first, and that she would send it to me as soon as possible. Once I've sent THAT form back in to them, I can THEN call and make an appointment. Is this for real? What's going on here? I don't know. I guess I'll have more clues when I get the form.

After more than two weeks back in Sweden, I saw my first squirrel today. I hear they're getting close to extinct, so that felt like a treat! Quite the opposite of southwestern Ontario, where squirrels seem to be more prominent than people.

What goes up must come back down

I knew yesterday was too good to be true. I never really woke up today for some reason. I got out of bed, made some breakfast and broke the handle on the oven door. Great start. I managed not to burn my food though! Took a painkiller with the food, and went back to bed. Fell asleep, woke up, took another one, and then back to sleep. I might have repeated the cycle again, before sort of waking up for a few hours to be social (and to explain the oven door).

Now it's soon time to get to bed again, but I'll try to get through the latest episode of LOST that I downloaded yesterday before I get too tired. I kind of hope I'll get so tired that I fall asleep easily in spite of my back, especially since I don't want to take too many pills in one day. They're already at prescription strength, so I try to be careful.

Tomorrow, I will call and make an appointment with a doctor. My aunt got the phone numbers I should call, so it should be a breeze. From what I hear, it might be a while on the phone, waiting in line. Good thing I have free calls to landlines on my new cell, and I recharged it today.

Stay safe and protected. Use helmets, knee pads and whatever needed for your particular pastime.

A Good Day

Do I dare say it's been a good day? I hope it won't backfire this time. I managed to get my cell working without travelling an inch. It all was taken care of over the phone, and didn't take long at all. Spent most of the afternoon and evening entering numbers and changing settings to what I felt I wanted. So far, so good.

Mom came over, and we went to take care of the graves of my dad and my sis. We planted some flowers, and cleaned off the head stones. Looked nice when we left. Let's hope the frost won't ruin the flowers tonight, as freezing temperatures are in the forecast for the next few nights.

Was supposed to call and make an appointment with a doctor today, but my back felt better than it has in weeks, so I felt I could wait a day or two. Hopefully, I'll know by then when I'll receive some unemployment moolah.

May the force be with you.

So much for that joy...

I shouldn't have been so fast as to mention the cell phone being a good thing. I've spent some time on the phone with customer support today, and they have found nothing in their system that says my phone was ever activated in the store yesterday. They actually told me to go back to the store and talk to them! What a GREAT start at this new cell phone operator. Luckily, my uncle will take me to the store (which is some 3okm away from this town) tomorrow, so this can be sorted out. If I get nothing more out of this than just an activated phone, I'm gonna blow a fuse. They better make up for the extra time, gas, and effort that we are wasting to go back to the store!!

BUT - today wasn't just anguish. I met some more relatives who live only a 10-minute walk away, and it was good to catch up on the last decade. :)